I’ve realized I’m not a very nice person and people don’t want to be my friend because I act like a cold bitch to cover up the fact that I’m just a skittish little new born giraffe who can’t keep it’s head balanced.
I always thought I had someone to be with for the rest of my life, like “oh I don’t need to worry about dating ever again because I have him” and now I don’t and I’m realizing how little I have to look forward to without him and it’s kinda blowing my mind how one person could complete flip my shit around. I literally went from being so so so in love to being so so so completely alone. I don’t expect to see 21, tbh.
I’m suuuuuuuuper tired of feeling like I don’t matter. Everyone else gets to be chased and sought after and treated nicely and I get everything you could never want. Cool, nice nice, yeah, I don’t mind crawling into a hole and never coming out, I was thinking of doing it anyway.